GoodBye Chris Brown

Just Cause I Look Like A Dude Doesn't Mean I Am

Just Cause I Look Like A Dude Doesn't Mean I Am

Chris Brown, master of single sylabble oh’s and ah’s, didn’t make it to the Grammys last night. Instead he was picked up by LA police for making “criminal threats”and is being investigated for the more serious, and less startling, accusation that he has been hitting equally talented phonetic acrobat, Rihanna. (see: Bom-Bom-Be-Dum.)
We want to take a moment to explain to Chris Brown that although Rihanna’s haircut as of late leads one to suspect she is in fact male, hitting a girl who looks like a guy is still like hitting a guy only it’s a girl. Which is a nice way to say you don’t hit women dickface!

From Gawker:

He never made it to the Grammy Awards stage, but Chris Brown’s performance Sunday could become an example of how to wreck one’s career in record time.

We don’t think “career” is the right word, it implies longevity in one field of work. And while we won’t compare winning the lottery to lasting long in the music industry we will analogize it to catching heterosexual HIV.
There is a chance, but it’s hard.
So see you later Chris Brown, we hope.

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