VALENTINES DAY EXCLUSIVE: CATS + BABIES+WEBCAMS = 100% LONELINESS AMONG INTERNET USERS

Warning: The Following breaks every principle in David Denby’s treatise against haterdom, “Snark”

Happy Valentines Day Folks!
We’ve decided to highlight three of the things that have made the internet–or friend-box as we’ve come to call it– the bastion of lonely people of all ages,colors, and D&D character classes. So if your reading, give your self a pat on the back: chances are there is no one else to do it for you.

1) CATS

I HAVE MORE SELF-ESTEEM THAN YOU

I HAVE MORE SELF-ESTEEM THAN YOU

When God created Photoshop it was only to complete a camera-cat-words triangle so that socially awkward and desperate people across the universe could anthropomorphize cats into what they always knew they were: smarter, better fed, and more articulate versions of themselves.

2)VIDEOS OF BABIES


Does this kid have 76 million relatives? You could have wiped the tears from your face, put the leash on the cat, and went and found your own child to kidnap already.

3) WEB CAMERAS

YOU CAN TELL ME

YOU CAN TELL ME


Web Cameras make us long for the day when you stuck to telling your deep and always boring secrets to the only gay guy in your whole town, or that prisoner pen-pal who was embezzling from you! With the advent of the web-cam comes proof that lonely people do not want company or companionship, only yearn to be lonely in front of millions of people.

Well, We’ve got to go and work on that crochet pillow we’ve been putting off.. Once again, Happy Valentines!!!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s