Tag Archives: pop culture

Uncoolhunting: Websites About Achievements Made While On Drugs

We love websites that are devoted to drugs– they break the myth that drugs make people unambitious. We especially like the type of sites that discuss great feats achieved by people while on drugs. It’s almost as if by finding people out there who have contributed to society while using the same drug that has made the webmasters life fall apart, it justifies why it’s okay for the webmasters life to have fallen apart.
Some Kid Is Using Me As An Excuse
via SIR BACON

Here are some links to Doc Ellis’ story of pitching a no hitter on acid.
122

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

Uncoolhunting: Oh No, Twice In One Week!!!


Has YouTube struck a deal with failed songwriters who now make educational music? A few days ago on their Featured Videos section there was the Presidential Rap ( we keep fucking up the rhyme at Truman). In “Twin Prime Conjecture” an Adam Carolla look-a-like does a bouncy dead-on Elvis Costello bit. And while we’re not sure if the comparison will get anything other than people deciding to never come back to this site, we’re so worried now about learningcore or edo becoming an interminable trend that our ability to write has been squelched. We think anything else worth saying was left as a simple message under the video:
From YouTube user kissmybuttdimple:

a true vision of hell…. this video makes me hate math…. and piano’s…..two things i used to really admire.

Our thoughts exactly.

2 Comments

Filed under 1

Grandmaster Flash’s “The Message” Reconsidered


Like most people in gagglefuck situations, we look to the past in order to inform us with some type of schematic as to how we can remedy the present. 1982’s “The Message” is so concurrent with our present social/economic narrative that it becomes an eerie prophecy tune. We took links to a shitload of stuff we’ve been bombarded with by the media( mainly against our will) recently and connected them to the song. We’re not so sure if it’s a cool idea or not– spend some time clicking on the stories and listen to the song and let us know what you think.

“The Message”

Broken glass everywhere

People pissing on the stairs , you know they just
Dont care I cant take the smell , I cant take the noise
Got no money to move out , I guess I got no choice
Rats in the front room, roaches in the back
Junkies in the alley with a baseball bat
I tried to get away , but I couldnt get far
Cause the man with the tow-truck repossessed my car
Chorus:
Dont push me, cause Im close to the edge

Im trying not to loose my head

Its like a jungle sometimes , it makes me wonder
How I keep from going under

Standing on the front stoop,hangin out the window
Watchingall the cars go by, roaring as the breezes
Blow
Crazy lady , livin in a bag
Eating out of garbage piles, used to be a fag-hag
Search and test a tango, skips the life and then go
To search a prince to see the last of senses
Down at the peepshow , watching all the creeps
So she can tell the stories to the girls back home
She went to the city and got so so so ditty
She had to get a pimp , she couldnt make it on her
Own

Chorus:
Its like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder
How I keep from goin under

My brothers doing fast on my mothers t.v.
Says she watches to much, is just not healthy
All my children in the daytime, dallas at night
Cant even see the game or the sugar ray fight
Bill collectors they ring my phone
And scare my wife when Im not home
Got a bum education , double-digitinflation
Cant take thetrain to the job , theres a strike
At the station
Me on king kong standin on my back
Cant stop to turn around, broke my sacroiliac
Midrange, migraine, cancered membrane
Sometimes I think Im going insane , I swear I might
Hijack a plane!

Chorus:
Its like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder
How I keep from goin under

My son said daddy I dont wanna go to school
Cause the teachers a jerk, he must think Im a Fool
And all the kids smoke reefer , I think itd be Cheaper
If I just got a job , learned to be a street sweeper
I dance to the beat, shuffle my feet
Wear a shirt and tie and run with the creeps
Cause its all about money , aint a damn thing funny
You got to have a con in this land of milk and Honey
I cant walk through the park, cause its crazy after the dark
Keep myhand on the gun , cause they got me on the
Run
I feel like an outlaw, broke my last fast jaw
Hear them say you want some more, livin on a
Seesaw

A child was born , with no state of mind
Blind to the ways of mankind
God is smiling on you buthes frowning too
Cause only God knows what you go through
You grow in the ghetto , living second rate
And your eyes will sing a song of deep hate
The places you play and where you stay
Looks like one great big alley way
Youll admire all the number book takers
Thugs ,pimps , pushers and the big money makers
Driving big cars , spending twenties and tens
And you wanna grow up to be just like them
Smugglers , scrambles , burglars , gamblers
Pickpockets , peddlers and even pan-handlers
You say Im cool, Im no fool
But then you wind up dropping out of high school
Now youre unemployed , all null n void
Walking around like youre pretty boy floyd
Turned stickup kid , look what you done did
Got send up for a eight year bid
Now your man is took and youre a may tag
Spend the next two years as an undercover fag
Being used and abused , and served like hell
Till one day you was find hung dead in a cell
It was plain to see that your life was lost
You was cold and your body swung back and forth
But now your eyes sing the sad sad song
Of how you lived so fast and died so young

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

Curio Cabinet: The Human Marvels


Grady Styles, Lobster Boy

Grady Styles, Lobster Boy


With all the recession stimulating smack talk going around recently we want to sometimes duck our heads back into the pre-internet age and wiz past even further to a period when you couldn’t rely on television, or pop stars, to scratch the universal itch to view freaks of nature.
The Human Marvels fills this exact need by offering a meticulously catalogued and well researched group of sideshow freaks, natural oddities, and complete physiological enigmas. You’ll realize quickly that the site not only scratches aforementioned itch but does so in a way that memorializes the people who are portrayed in the photos (We’re starting to sound like a hypertrichotic drunk).
Best of all, the site invokes all of the nostalgia that going to Coney Island has without all of Pratt’s dick hipster undergrads working on their portfolio and sweating with uniqueness.

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

More Proof That Things Created To Make Learning Fun Only Make It Suck


Our first impression when we saw this video was: “Oh here is another dud from the mass educational-tool complex created by out of touch dickhead grad students.” And because we love the fulfillment that unnecessary self-adulation delivers, we went right over to the web site of Rythym Rhyme Results to confirm our hunch.
Here is more proof that educational accomplishments spit you further into a vortex of hopeless stupidity when it comes to having your hand on the pulse of youth culture:

“RRR’s in-house team leads a collaborative network of over 25 creative professionals, including lyricists, composers, vocalists, and producers. Many are graduates of Harvard University and the Berklee College of Music and reside in New York, Boston, Atlanta, and beyond.”

Below is an excerpt to the song titled “The Civil War.” We urge you to go listen to this track yourself and hear the bad ass gangster beats and the severity of the issue at hand. Think Suge Knight not Shock G, and it all makes you want to go fuck someone up. But the tracks on the site– along with the hard ass “Photosynthesis” featured on YouTube— sound so gangster that they serve as the primary premise as to why RRR misses the point: they’ve assumed that that’s what all rap sounds like and have gone and made songs that sound like “rap” music.
Still, the irony of genre and content mixing is priceless.

From The Civil War:

In March 1862
A water battle was fought that no one would lose
Monitor vs. Merrimac ended in a draw
Hopes soared high for the people up north

The Battle of Shiloh was the North’s victory
But one month later they retreated to DC
The confederate’s General Stonewall Jackson
Led the South to a few months of great action

But September that year marked defeat
For both the North and the South had blood on the streets
The Battle of Antietam goes down in the books
As the bloodiest day the U.S. military undertook

One more note. We don’t hate companies like Rhythm Rhyme Results Rap. They’re trying something new to help children learn and we doubt that there is a subversive,darker, motive(like having rappers rap about the Civil War, Slavery, or the Bill of Rights– all of which have royally fucked them– as some type of humorous racially motivated joke) We just think that they should go into a business that they know about– like penny loafers sales or something.

1 Comment

Filed under 1

TV ON THE INTERNET : Daniel Clowes

Leave it up to the British to turn all of our pleasures into an academic deconstruction while introducing terms like “banal insularity”. We’re insular because if we had shows like this on our American TV sets, a shitload of crock TV producers would be hanging themselves.
We jizz with happiness when we find something on YouTube that we like. Sadly, we are quickly reminded that we’re so starved for quality content on TV, we’ve had to reprogram our neurons in order to conform to watching the bulk of our media on the internet.
In “Secret of Drawing”, Art Historian and 100% BBC ALPHA MALE( see Top Gear’s uber-cock Jeremy Clarkson for further proof ), Andrew Graham-Dixon pastes together a psychological profile of selected artists as the significance of their “visual language” is discussed.
In this episode we get to see Daniel Clowes work on further molding the stereotype that all great contemporary graphic novelists a) suffer from some psychological malaise, b) have decided to dedicate their lives to a medium that will never give them the happiness that they need and that only makes them further obsessed on c) a period of time ( the 60’s/70’s for Clowes or for Ware early 20th Century) they think was better but d) don’t realize they would be miserable even if they lived in that period.

Leave a comment

Filed under 1

DIY: Projects For The New Depression

We’re not letting this little blip in the market stop us from keeping up with the Joneses! Here is our first installment in a series on how to remain a brand obsessed, self-centered, consumer during a national crisis

USE SAWZALL AND HAMMER TO GET RIGHT DIMENSIONS

USE SAWZALL AND HAMMER TO GET RIGHT DIMENSIONS


Now there’s time to catch up on the important shit we’ve been missing– the new Black Lips album. That chick who looks like the woman who had the octuplets becoming an actor,WTF? And that promised bipartisanship that we’ve been waiting for.
GOD BLESS THE USA!!!!!

Leave a comment

Filed under 1, DB/DO NON-NEWS, DB/DO NON-NEWS